Poems good, essay bad

I haven’t posted in a while.  This does not mean that I haven’t been writing.  It is quite the opposite, I’ve been writing like a crazy mofo working on my creative portfolio.  All the deadlines for this semester are Monday the 3rd April, and true to chaotic form, I have left it until last minute…AGAIN.

Well, not quite.  I am slightly more prepared and have time scheduled in to write.  I’ve a couple of wee essays to do, my bibliography and dissertation proposal.

I find it easy to do the creative stuff.  It is the wordy blah essays that I find tough, and here I am, a week before my deadline, writing in my blog to avoid starting to write it up.  I know that once I get going, I will be in full flow, but I’ll avoid it and do the most enjoyable parts for as long as I can get away with it.

I have had SO much fun writing this creative portfolio.  If someone had told me at the beginning of this course that I’d be writing poetry of any kind, I’d have laughed in their face.  Not only am I writing poetry, I am writing Doric performance poetry.

I know, I am completely baffled myself.  However, I can actually VISUALISE myself reading these things in public, a vision which is scary biscuits and weirdly exciting all rolled into one maelstrom of emotion.  I am trying not to think about it too much, otherwise I’ll freak myself out before I’ve even finished the collection.

I’m in the editing phase, with a few bits of tweaking here and there.  I’ve been fortunate enough to have two fabulous poets give me feedback and advice. “Embrace the darkness” my tutor said, and by fuck, have I done that.

The bad news is, I can’t publish it online until after it has been handed in and marked. Something to do with rules and regulations.  But, I can post a couple of little ditties.  They didn’t quite make the cut because I want the collection to flow from light to dark, getting progressively darker as the work progresses.  I had enough light-hearted stuff and needed some bleaker material to achieve what I wanted.   I sent the latest proof to a friend, who said she “smiled, laughed, cried and vomited”.  I am taking all of those as compliments.

So, without further ado, here’s a couple of poems that I might keep purely as performance pieces.  The collection is a mixture of poetry, prose poetry and prose, but all in Doric.  The title is “Hings beginnin wi P”.  I am pretty sure I am going to keep that.  It is definitely the beginning of something.  I can feel it in mi bones.  Deep breath, here goes…hope you enjoy.


Ach, ah’ll dee it imorn.




oocha boys

at wis bloody sare

ers a massive reed welt

far ah used ti hey hair

iss jist applies ti wifies

cos if ye are a mannie

ye will niver ken

ih mortal pain

o waxin yer hale



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