I need to remember this golden nugget of advice I received from my dissertation tutor. I’ve been drowning under a raft of submission rejections the past few months and that elusive validation of seeing my work in print seems further away than ever.
I ignored all the success I’ve had so far and homed in on the one thing that I’ve not achieved yet and used it as a measuring stick to beat myself with. Then the comparisons to others surface and I am sucked into a spiral of despair where every word I have ever written is rubbish and what I am I doing all this for anyway?
The answer to that question is I am doing this because I LOVE it. My head demands it. Words have poured out of me for as long as I can remember. Some of those words are rubbish, but getting rid of the crap makes room for fresh ideas and new words. I recognised the spiral before it pulled me under, and submitted to another two publications and began working on another two. Pick yourself up and carry on. Stay out of the vortex of self loathing.
I’ve recorded audio to send off as a submission and am beginning to type up my scribbles from NaPoWriMo. It is the first year I have done it. I started off so well, then life happened. I lost a dear, long term friend and I’ve been wandering around feeling heavy-hearted for weeks. I have rough gems that I can polish up and that’s what counts. I’m gently reminded by loved ones that I don’t have to do everything in one day.
I am also chuffed as fuck to announce that I am headlining Speakin Weird on Wednesday 11th July. People of the North East – please come, so that it won’t just be me and a couple of randoms. I know it is the summer (well as close as we get to it) but I’d be affa pleased to see more than three folk there. There will be swearing. Dinna say I didna warn ye.
Before that, I’m doing a wee set at the second Women’s Open Mic at The Cult of Coffee On Monday 14th May. The last one was fabulous and the headliner for this one is the grand master of Speakin Weird – Sparklechops. You don’t want to be missing this one.
In addition to this awesomeness, I’ve been asked to do a couple of sets at the Fringe, on Thursday 9th August, I shall be appearing at Ray Fordyce and Other Spiffing Personages and later on at Max Scratchmann’s Poetry Bordello. Click on the linky treats to take you to the deets.
As I’m typing this, I see how warped my perspective is at times – right now I’m thinking fuckin hell, I’ve got all this amazing stuff coming up. I am doing just fine.
I still want my writing in print.
Peace out people. Love n bosies goin out to y’all fae the jojo corner…